secrets

Today my mind wandered 20 years back. The fact I can say, "I remember 20 years ago..." astounds me and somehow doesn't compute - but I digress.

On this particular day I was swimming lazily in the pool of a family friend. They lived in the country, so aside from my splashing the only noises were the scratching of junebugs and the occasional whisp of a page turn when my father, who lay on a chaise lounge in the sun, advanced further into his book. I would dive; deep, deep, deep into the pool and try to touch the drain or attempt to stay seated on the concrete bottom for as long as I possibly could.

Suddenly, I felt a pain in my ear. I shot to the surface and cried out loudly, more from the shock of being hurt when I felt so carefree and relaxed than the physical discomfort. My Father jogged to the waters edge and worriedly asked me if I was ok.

"I'm ok Dad. My ear just hurt."
He looked concerned, then said,
"Well your nose has been runny from allergies, it's probably your sinuses bugging you. Try not to dive so deep."
I treaded water and looked up at him,
"Don't you have allergies Daddy? Do you think I got them from you?"

My Dad's face shifted, it was just for an instant; it tightened perhaps and his eyes looked over me instead of at me. His recovery was near flawless as he came back, steady gaze ready for anything, eyes filled with love.

"It's possible sweetie, it's possible."

He returned to his seat then and stretched out, eyes closed in the sun. I dove back into the cool blue, but only halfway down this time.